Tuesday, April 4, 2017

Why Donald Trump would beat you at Go!



Here are FIVE reason Donald Trump would absolutely obliterate you at Go!


He lies A LOT!

@hegiel: "it doesn't work, but it worked!"
As any respectable kyu player would know, playing an iffy move that looks really complicated (but has no reading behind it at all) is usually enough to make your opponent think they should play it safe—and for the most part, they do. Any kyu's gotta know that most of the time, Go is more of a Poker game than a game of calculation, at least until we learn how to read!


He LOOOVES dominance!



Check out this dominant handshake... 😏 
I mean he could tear someone's arm off these next four years! That's okay though, because it reveals a character trait. He craaaaves dominating people, and of course that hankering is what drives many a go player's creativity and excitement for the game. Undoubtedly, it has to be what drove the divine move out of the depths of Lee Sedol's mind!


He is SOOO traditional!

Characterized by a lot of his traditionalist views on abortion and gay marriage (though not totally consistent...), he drummed up a lot of support from conservatives.

This would totallyyyy make his playing style quite old as well, but seeing as how he's all about shaking things up and "draining the swamp," and how he compares himself to Ronald Reagan, I guess he'd be inclined to play like someone of a similitude of qualities in Go. If you're thinking Go Seigen's Shin Fuseki, you're not alone! And Go Seigen was one of the absolute best ever, wasn't he?


Kitani Minoru playing the Shin Fuseki!


He makes the BEST deals!



"The deals will be THIS big!"

Go is all about beautiful trades that can be advantageous to each player. But ya know, for TOO long, go players have been losing on these deals. It's terrible! Go players need to start making better deals! Much, much better trade deals!

Heck, he even wrote a book about making deals! Artfully named "The Art of the Deal," he says, "If it can't be fun, what's the point?" And what's more fun than trading groups off for each other across the board?! And of course the BEST in deals is the Donald himself!

And of course, SO MUCH WINNING!


“We will have so much winning if I get elected that you may get bored with winning.”



Donald Trump is all about winning. He never loses. Ever. He wins, and with the greatest margins. So much winning! He won the election for the highest office in the land! Pfffft, just a game of Go! How could he ever lose! No one stands a chance!

For all of these reasons, it is clear that Donald Trump would be the best Go player ever, were he ever to take up the game!

If you enjoyed this post, be sure to share it with all your Go friends :) Comment, email, or tweet @alireyns with any feedback for me. Thank you so much for dropping by my blog!

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